The Comedy
Corner
 |
People who say they sleep like a
baby usually don't have one.
Leo J. Burke
Joined a health club last year,
spent four hundred bucks. Haven't
lost a pound. Apparently, you have
to show up.
Rich Ceisler
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian
word meaning "lousy hunter."
Andy Rooney
The biggest seller is cookbooks and
the second is diet books - how not
to eat what you've just learned how
to cook.
Andy Rooney
The last fight was my fault. My
wife asked,
"What's on the TV?"...I said,
'Dust!"
My wife and I have the secret to
making a marriage last. Two times a
week, we go to a nice restaurant, a
little wine, good food.. She goes
Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Only in America do people order
double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.
I've gained a few pounds around the
middle. The only lower-body
garments I own that still fit me
comfortably are towels.
Dave Barry
Always live within your income,
even if you have to borrow money to
do so.
Josh Billings
To stop smoking is the easiest
thing I ever did.
I ought to know; I've done it a
thousand times.
Mark Twain
I told my wife: You could lose a
lot of weight if you'd just carry
all your diet books around the
block once a day.
Bill Hoest
I always hold hands with my
wife.
If I let go, she starts to
shop.
I get plenty of exercise: jumping
to conclusions,
pushing my luck, and dodging
deadlines!
Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go
unnoticed.
When you leave work early, you will
meet the
boss in the parking lot.
Nothing makes it easier to resist
temptation than a proper
bringing-up, a sound set of values
- and witnesses.
Franklin P. Jones |
|
|
|
Quick
Quotes / Diet Tips
©2008 Instant Wisdom Productions, Inc.
| 
